Nev meets Dan Aykroyd. Forgets English.

"You are my density! I mean, destiny!"

So, I met Dan Aykroyd today.

Hold on. Rewind that. Let’s set up some foreshadowing first.

This past Friday I found out (rather late, it would seem) that Dan was on tour promoting his new line of wines now available in fine liquor stores everywhere. (danaykroydwines.com). Through his website I learned that he would be making a two-day stop in Winnipeg to appear at two liquor marts as well as an evening charity event today, (Monday, March 23rd, 2009) and a mall appearance among other things, tomorrow. Finding this out at such late notice, and knowing that I had a crazy day at work ahead of me on Monday didn’t allow me much of a chance to figure out how I was going to get to his 3-5 pm appearance at the LC near my home, but I decided to go in to work early, work through lunch, and leave with hopefully enough time to snag as best a spot in line as I could.

When I put the plan into motion and arrived at the mall where the store was located, the line was snaking a very long way from inside the liquor store to the mall entrance doors where I currently stood. No sooner had I arrived when Mall security, on the instruction by Dan’s posse exclaimed, “OK, stop the line right here” as they pointed at me. I was literally the last in line.

For the next two hours, I followed the line as it made its way at a snail’s pace towards where Dan presumably was, as I couldn’t see anything at all. Dan was running late, and it was announced that he would sign anything you might want him to sign, but that you could no longer get a picture with him (although you could take a picture of him at the table where he sat). Later it was rumoured through the line that they might just stop seeing people at 5:00 exactly, which meant that I would most certainly not make it to the table in time.

To go even further back in time, Dan was in Winnipeg over ten years ago in 1997 for a couple of months filming a TV movie called “The Arrow”. It was announced in the paper that he would be signing autographs at a particular Harley Davidson location one evening and I quickly got my poop together and drove out to see him, only to find a handful of other people waiting with Dan nowhere in sight. It turned out that a retraction had been printed in the paper the next day, and if you didn’t happen to see it, then you were on a destination to disappointment. I didn’t want this to happen to me again, so I was keeping my fingers crossed that Dan would see the entire line through, as he had promised, and I would finally get a face-to-face. People early in line were coming out beaming and reporting that he was very cordial and good-natured, and I was glad to hear that his demeanor was pleasant. However, as the clock ticked past 5:00 and approached 5:30, you could tell that the line was picking up speed as he was committed to the charity engagement in the evening and really had to get a move on.

As it approached my turn and I could see that I was actually going to get to meet him this time, I poised my camera, grabbed a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc for the wife and got my GB 2 card ready for him to sign. He was in an obvious hurry, with about 12 of his crew clamoring for him to finish, so when it came time to talk to him, I froze in awkwardness and don’t remember what I said at all. I felt like Ralphie in A Christmas Story sitting on Santa’s lap, unable to ask for a goddamn BB Gun. I know I blurted something. Something probably gushing and embarrassing like a little girl clawing for the attention of one of the Jonas Brothers. I know I didn’t ask or tell him one of the millions of things I had silently rehearsed earlier that day like “Any new info on the development of Ghostbusters 3 that you can reveal?” or “did Rick Moranis get added last-minute to the upcoming video game after all? or even “Were you the one who initiated Digital Underground’s involvement in ‘Nothing But Trouble’?” (He’s in a video with 2Pac for cripes sakes! I still love that soundtrack.)  I just collected my bottle and card, told him he should check out protoncharging.com and shuffled to the right as he made the exit remark “Watch out for that video game.” – Referring to the Ghostbusters game coming out in June that I’ve already known about for well over a year.

Anyone who knows me is well aware that for a good many years of my life, I ate, breathed, slept and belched Ghostbusters, with Dan’s character of Ray as my particular favorite of the bunch. It consumed my everyday life, got me occasionally teased, and hindered any chance at touching a girl in any way shape or form throughout Junior High. In the 90′s, as Ghostbusters all but seemed to fade away, it was still something I thought about, read about online and hoped to experience in some way or another once again. This franchise has been in my blood for 25 years and in essence, this meeting was the one that the kid in me had hoped would always happen. Unfortunately, instead of coming across as someone who is most likely the Province of Manitoba’s best representative of Ghostbusters and Aykroyd fandom, I came across as some kind of slack-jawed yokel who didn’t seem to know which way was up.

If I sounds like I’m taking myself way too seriously here, relax, I just find the irony amusing. When it comes right down to it, I met one of my childhood heroes and I got his signature too. If there’s a lesson to be learned here for the next time it’s:

1. Breathe.
2. Get in the front of the bloody line.

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